She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
