I didn't shave. On purpose
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize