youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize