Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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