Barsexuality is the new black.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
