Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
