No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
