i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
