He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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