She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
