Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
