And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
