shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
