history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize