True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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