Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
