he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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