Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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