i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
