I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
