well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
