**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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