He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
