Sry I called you an 8
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
