I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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