I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
