Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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