i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
