idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
