barbara walters just said penis...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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