Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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