I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
