Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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