508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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