is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
