My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
