The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
