ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
