clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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