are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
