The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
