Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
