I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
