Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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