I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
