Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
