Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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