I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize