she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't notice because vodka
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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