It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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