I smell stomach acid.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
