I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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