i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
