Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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