Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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