he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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