I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
