M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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