I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
