I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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