This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
True college students do jello shots in the library
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
