if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
