you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize