Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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