so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You smell like stripper and shame
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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