Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
