Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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