I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
