I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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