Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
