Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
