There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
